Sharing household chores in your family: 7 tips that really work

Let's be honest: in most families, the housework rests on the shoulders of one or two people. The rest "forget", "don't notice" or act as if the dishwasher empties itself. Sound familiar? Then this article is for you.

Dividing household chores works best if you first make them visible, divide them fairly based on preference, and link them to fixed moments. Below you'll find 7 practical tips for a better division of household tasks, including which chores children can handle at each age and how to divide the mental load fairly.

1. Make it visible

The biggest problem with household chores is that they're invisible. Nobody sees how much work it takes to keep a household running. So write everything down. Really everything: from hanging up the washing to cleaning the lunchboxes.

Once it's on paper (or in an app), the penny often drops: "Oh, do we really do all that every week?"

2. Divide based on preference, not habit

Everyone has tasks they mind less than others. One person would rather hoover than wash up, another enjoys tidying but hates ironing. Start by dividing tasks based on preference. You'll notice that dividing household tasks immediately runs a lot more smoothly.

3. Chores for children: what's suitable at what age?

Children can often do more than we think. A rough guideline for children's chores by age:

• 2-3 years: tidying up toys, using a cloth, putting dirty laundry in the basket
• 4-5 years: laying the table, making their own bed a little, sorting laundry by colour
• 6-8 years: emptying the dishwasher, feeding the pet, tidying their own room
• 9-12 years: hoovering, helping with cooking, packing their own bag for school or sport
• 12 years and older: making a meal independently, doing the laundry, grocery shopping

It's not just about help around the house. You're also teaching children to take responsibility, plan and work together. Skills they'll need for the rest of their lives.

4. Work with fixed moments

"We'll tidy up later" in practice means: never. Link tasks to fixed moments. After dinner, the table gets cleared. Saturday morning is the big clean-up moment. Before bedtime, the toys go in the box.

Fixed routines take effort at first, but after a few weeks, it becomes second nature.

5. Use a system that works for you

Whether it's a magnetic board on the fridge, a shared app or a simple list: choose a system and stick with it. It doesn't matter what you use, as long as everyone actually looks at it.

Digital tools like Chup work well because children tick off their own tasks on a digital planning board and immediately see what still needs to be done. But the most important thing is that you choose something and use it consistently.

6. Reward the effort, not perfection

Especially with children, it's important to focus on the effort. Yes, the bed isn't made perfectly. No, the dishwasher isn't stacked optimally. But they did it, and that's what counts.

A compliment or a small reward system with points can work wonders for motivation.

7. And what about the mental load?

Dividing tasks isn't just about who does the washing up. The mental load - remembering, planning and arranging - is in many families even more unevenly divided than the visible chores. Who keeps track of when the gym kit needs to go along, when the dentist appointment is, and that the winter coat is a size too small?

Make those invisible tasks visible too, and divide them just as consciously. A shared calendar and task list help, because then the "remembering" is no longer stuck in one person's head, but is visible to everyone in one place. A digital family planner keeps that overview together in one spot.

Frequently asked questions

From what age can children help with household chores? As early as 2 to 3 years old, children can do small chores, such as tidying up toys. As they get older, the list of chores naturally grows along with them.

How do you divide the mental load fairly? First make the invisible tasks (remembering, planning, arranging) visible by writing them down, then divide them just as consciously as the visible chores. A shared family calendar takes over the "keeping it in your head" part.

How do you create a fair division of household tasks? Write down all the tasks, divide them based on preference rather than habit, link tasks to fixed moments, and regularly evaluate whether it still feels fair.

It's all about teamwork

Running a household is teamwork. By making tasks visible, dividing them fairly and turning it into a routine, you prevent it from becoming a source of irritation. And who knows, tidying up might even become a bit fun. Okay, that might be going too far. But less hassle is already a win in itself.