Screen time for children: how to agree on it together

"Five more minutes!" It's the most commonly heard phrase in households with children. Whether it's about YouTube, Roblox or TikTok: screen time is a recurring topic of discussion in pretty much every family.

How much screen time is healthy, and how do you make agreements that everyone sticks to? In short: there's no magic number, and clear agreements made together work better than a strict ban. Below you'll find out what guidelines recommend and how to make good screen time agreements that actually stick.

How much screen time per day is healthy?

There's no exact ideal number of minutes. International guidelines often mention around an hour a day for young children (2 to 5 years old), but experts such as the Nederlands Jeugdinstituut emphasise that balance and what your child is doing matter more than the exact time. Half an hour of passively watching videos is very different from half an hour of playing an educational game together.

So don't just look at how much time your child spends behind a screen, but also at what they're doing and whether there's still enough room for exercise, playing outside, sleeping and doing things together.

Screen time by age

What works for a 5-year-old is very different from what works for a 13-year-old teenager:

• Young children (2-6 years): short, fixed moments and lots of watching or doing things together. Structure over choice.
• Primary school age (6-12 years): clear agreements, screen time after homework and chores, and attention to what they're doing.
• Teenagers (12 years and older): screens are part of school, friends and relaxation. A strict limit works less well; discussing together what's healthy and giving trust works better.

Agreements about screen time: being clear works better than banning

Children aren't stupid. They know they're growing up in a digital world and that screens are everywhere. A total ban therefore rarely works. What does work: clear agreements made together.

Involve your children in drawing up the rules. That might sound contradictory, but children who help think through the agreements stick to them far better than children who have rules imposed on them.

Examples of workable screen time agreements:

• Homework and chores first, then screen time
• No screens during meals
• Screens go off half an hour before bedtime
• A bit longer at weekends, a bit shorter on weekdays

Make it visible

One of the biggest frustrations for both parents and children is a lack of clarity. "You've already played plenty long enough" versus "No way, I only just started!" That's not a conversation you want to have every day.

So make screen time visible. You can do this with a simple timer, with the built-in screen time features on tablets and phones, or with a family app where agreements and chores are visible. In Chup, for example, each child has their own profile on the children's kiosk, where chores and agreements are clearly displayed. When children can see for themselves what's expected of them, a large part of the discussion disappears by itself.

Be honest about your own screen use

This might be the trickiest tip: look at yourself too. Children copy behaviour. If you're on your phone all evening, it's hard to tell your child they need to put their tablet away.

That doesn't mean you can never look at your phone as a parent. But be aware of it and talk about it. "I'm just on my phone now because I need to answer a work email" is very different from scrolling absent-mindedly while your child is talking to you.

Offer alternatives

The reason children reach for a screen is often simple: they're bored. And boredom isn't a bad thing at all, but in a world full of instant stimulation, it's difficult for children to deal with it on their own.

Help them by offering alternatives. Not as a punishment ("no tablet, so go and play outside"), but as an equal alternative: a box of craft supplies, a stack of books, a board game or simply doing something together.

Consistency matters more than perfection

There will be days when the agreements don't work out. When your child spends two hours on the tablet because you've got an important deadline. That's fine. It's about the bigger picture: if the agreements work most days of the week, you're doing well.

What is important: be consistent in the rules you set. Exceptions are fine, but make them explicit. "Today it can be a bit different because..." is clearer than quietly letting the rules slide.

Frequently asked questions

How much screen time per day is healthy for children? There's no fixed number. For young children, around an hour a day is often mentioned, but more important than the minutes is the balance with other activities and what your child is doing on the screen.

From what age do you give a child their own phone? There's no set age for this; many children get their own phone around the transition to secondary school. Above all, look at whether your child is ready, and agree on usage and screen time together beforehand.

How do you make good agreements about screen time? Make them together with your child, keep them concrete (homework first, no screens at the table, off half an hour before bedtime) and make them visible, so the daily discussion disappears.

The goal is balance

Screen time doesn't have to be the enemy. Technology offers children wonderful opportunities to learn, create and stay in touch with friends. It's about keeping it in balance with other activities: exercise, playing outside, reading, crafting and just doing nothing for a bit.

If your family finds that balance, in a way that suits you, it doesn't matter whether that's exactly 45 minutes or an hour and a half a day. What matters is that screen time isn't a source of conflict, but simply part of a happy family life.